The Journal Blacklist additions Monster Cable Headphones , Department of Homeland Security

These two institutions have been added to the National Journal of Truth Blacklist. These are organizations, companies or people that one should not do business with because of unfair practices, cheating consumers and other such acts.

The Journal stands behind it's storied history, since 1823, and will never bow to big wig politicos on Capitol Hell and the Hidden Agenda.

Monster Cable, maker of headphones, Bluetooth speakers, speaker cable and power conditioners has been permanently blacklisted. Two attempts by two parties to get the company to respond to knowingly replacing a pair of headphones that broke, and were deemed “virtually indestructible”, with the same headphones that failed in the same way constitutes at the very least fraud and false advertising. Therefore we encourage all Journal readers to cease purchasing products from this company at all costs until they own up to their claims.

Department of Homeland Security has been added to the Journal Blacklist. Since 1823 it has been our responsibility to report the Truth in our crisp platinum lined pages and scrutinize others, not the reverse. Thus based on the light of DHS keeping tabs on bloggers, Journalists and influencers the Journal must therefore add them to the indefinite Blacklist. The Journal has existed before Fake News existed and will exist long after as we have passed 195 years of Truth to the populace. Any information coming from DHS can only be assumed to be the work of the Hidden Agenda going forward and therefore cannot be trusted.

We encourage all Journal readers as always to flood congressmen with letters of petition, phone calls etc. and investigate our previous Blacklist entries to protect themselves from unjust and unfair business practices.

Sincerely,
Charles J. Willington
Editor in Chief

The Journal blacklist. We have been notified of several unscrupulous Facebook dealers.

A longtime acquaintance of those of us here at Journal Headquarters have learned of an unscrupulous attempt to promote a business with a 20 year experience when in fact our client has nearly 23 years of experience in the same field. We believe his treatment of our client it is unjustifiable as is many attack from a large corporation which it may be from. The evidence has been provided, the Journal stands vehemently behind its unprecedented history of exporting the truth. If the matter is not rectified in a reasonable period of time as considered by the journal the business will be listed on the journal blacklist. It’s up to the businesses to provide information to the contrary within 48 hours of this post.

TIM HORTONS EDEN NY LOCATION ADDED TO JOURNAL BLACKLIST FOR FAILURE TO PAY EMPLOYEE COMPENSATION

by Charles J. Willington

It has come to my attention as esteemed editor of the National Journal of Truth that another big wig corporation is trying to screw the small time American Taxpayer, this time attempting to put the wringer on a minor who was forced to work extra hours beyond state labor laws and was improperly compensated for work performed.

As a result of this The National Journal of Truth has placed the Eden New York Location on a blacklist. The Journal’s blacklist involves companies that no reader should do business with due to unethical business tactics that disenfranchise the hard working American. We encourage the New York State department of labor to investigate this business and hope Journal Readers take a stand against the big wig corporate head honchos.

Sincerely,

Charles J. Willington
Editor In Chief

FAN DEMAND FORCES RETURN OF XFL!

by George Schmidt

In 2001, a new football league was born. A league that brought in-your-face action, attitude coming out the wazoo, as well as semi-nude cheerleaders. Most men would consider this heaven. Planet Earth called it the XFL.

The brainchild of Vince McMahon, the XFL was a cross-country football league that our esteemed editor Charles J. Willington referred to as "mass devil worship." The league felt that they needed the witty commentary of Jesse Ventura to lend credence to his broadcasts, as well as an innovative series of camera angles that would take viewers to areas previously unchartered by the wussier television networks.

Alas, the league failed. Viewers were unwilling and not ready for a football league whose game outcomes were not shrouded in a veil of conspiracies and hidden agendas. Real football would have to wait. That is, until now.

A National Journal of Truth poll given to a group of farmers in southwest Tennessee saw 100% of those polled demanding the return of the XFL. These people craved for the return of the league, and felt betrayed by NBC for cancelling the games. Well now with the addition of the fine people at Spectravision, the XFL will return. Teams will play in dusty sandlots and abandoned prairies, reflecting the hard-nosed, legitimate groundbreaking action that the league wants to embody. Games will be free to the public, with a free rodeo taking place after the game.

Players will be taken from lists of soon to be released inmates, parolees, as well as people on welfare who need a job. They will be paid in circus peanuts, as Brach's Candy are the sponsor, and they need to get rid of their lesser selling products.

One thing that will be improved on are the halftime shows. Instead of having professional wrestlers such as the Rock or the Undertaker discussing why the XFL will be the #1 football league, there will be entertainment such as a spaghetti eating contest, a contest to see who can build a tunnel to China through the 50 yard line first, as well as barking like a dog for free coupons to the local pizzeria.

With all of the framework to be successful in place, the XFL will be the type of league that the fans can be proud of, and that the Journal of Truth is proud to endorse.

Originally Published October 2003

Aaron Rodgers Sold Soul to Devil, Hail Marys were really Hail Satans

By George Schmidt

Last night I sat down to watch the sport played using an oblong ball made from skins of pigs on a satanic television network in John Agar's modest studio apartment on his vintage Sony Trinitron TV which he polished some of his cars for his next mission. I elected to eat picked pigs feet so the rest of the animal would not go to waste after making the ball. I also downed countless bottles of Genny Cream Ale Original Classic since many commercials during this sport of "football" often show people sitting around and drinking beer.

All the carbonation from the beer was making me belch over and over again, at some point I realized that Aaron Rogers looked almost possessed. By the 4th quarter the pigs feet were stomping around in my gut and I had to take a massive dump. I then vomited all over from all the beer. I returned to see the end of regulation and see Aaron Rogers heave a Hail Mary into the end zone and it was caught for a "touchdown". Putting 2 and 2 together I realized that the reason Aaron Rogers looked possessed is because he sold his soul to the Devil. No one completes two passes like that in a season unless they sell their soul. I immediately turned the Sony off, bid John a fond goodbye and returned to my own humble abode. Oh and from now on anytime Aaron Rodgers throws a long pass like that it's a Hail Satan.

George Schmidt out.

Brian Williams has Alzheimer's Disease!

By Fred Langley

As of late Brian Williams has been much maligned for misrepresenting and misremembering the news. Well the first thing any dyed in the wool Journal reader knows is that main stream media plays the fiddle of the Hidden Agenda and has for eons. These "news" reporters so called merely tell fables as tall as those of Uncle Remus, who unforunately is part of the maligned Disney movie "The Song of the South". Even though Disney won't rerelease their movie, you can release yourself from the big wig lies perpetrated on Capitol Hell by the Congress of Crooks that control the wild inner workings of the Hidden Agenda. The Journal has for close to two centuries prided itself in providing only Truth printed on gleaming platinum lined pages and spread all over the globe from the beacon of Truth that is our red brick building standing triumphantly at the corners of Winchester & 3rd.

I looked around my plush office filled with such important treasures as a prototype of the Lombardi Trophy and the Marilyn Monroe and JFK sex film. I did not however have the clues as to why Brian Williams would tell such tall tales. After all unless he was on hallucinogens and believed he was Uncle Remus, which was a distinct possibility as it is known that the NBC is owned by the Queen and follows her drug trafficking orders, the answer must lie somewhere and I had an idea where to start digging.

I phoned our own Journalistic Juggernaut John Agar and asked him if he'd allow me to borrow Melissa for a few days as well as his rickshaw. He agreed. By the time I got to his modest studio apartment he already has Melissa all ready to pull me all the way to Nebraska in pure luxury. Along the palatial plains and highways of dreams Melissa would frequently tire and I had to whip her with a whip John so kindly provided. We frequently stopped at truck stops where I priced CB radio equipment and purchased Figure Skating magazines for an upcoming story by George Schmidt that will resoundingly prove all male figure skaters are in fact heterosexual.

It was a bit more than 12 shakes of a lamb's tale due to Melissa's slacking, but we eventually arrived at Helga's farmhouse in Nebraska. She greeted me warmly as I have not been out to visit in several months due to my recent trip to Borneo. She had freshly baked fig cookies and some chicory waiting for me. She said she had recently purchased several boxes of documents from a Sears Auto Center that was closing but apparently the wrong documents had been shipped in from another store that had closed and said I was welcome to sift through them. I was happy as Frank Jespin in a room full of boys, and sipped my Chicory while leafing through the files which were in fact medical records of many celebrities that were affiliated with NBC or on NBC within the last three decades. Much of it was meaningless, but I did in fact learn a few important things such as the fact that Ronald Reagan had in fact died after being hit by the asteroid and was replaced by a stand in. Most importantly I learned that Brian Williams had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 1996 and had been receiving experimental monkey hormones and electroshock therapy in efforts to ward off the disease. Obviously it didn't work. That was pretty obvious. I offered to buy the box of medical records from Helga for $12 and she agreed. I thanked her for the chicory and was on my way.

The trip back was long, the added weight of the documents didn't help Melissa's pulling ability. She was whipped pretty raw by the time I returned her and the rickshaw to John. I returned to my office where I penned this article. I leafed through the other medical files but was pretty exhausted so I boxed them up and decided to use them as a printer stand.

Editorial by our Esteemed Editor Charles J. Willington

Elections, what do they mean to you? Elections are basically a fraud popularity contest. The politician who can make the most ridiculous commercials usually wins because people think it is funny. Clearly this system is as flawed as the early Pentium 60 processor. Back in the good old days people were placed into positions of power by divine intervention, strong character, royal bloodlines, or duels. These are clearly superior methods to choosing people who should be in power. The Journal urges all readers to contact their congressmen to petition for a change in the constitution in effort to restore these more effective means of bringing people into power.

Sincerely,
Charles J. Willington

Oakley, Maker of Sunglasses and other Inferior Consumer Goods Blacklisted

It has come to my attention that this company has been spamming Facebook pages. The Journal takes a stand against this practice and shares the sentiment of the victim and therefore has added Oakley to The Journal Blacklist. Companies on this list often spawn evil like Satanism, Population Reduction and even Asteroids. Doing business with these companies places your life at immediate risk. We therefore recommend spreading the word about these companies and destroying their products whenever possible, such as disposing of shipments of them if you work at a retailer, or throwing them into the ocean if you are at the beach.

Sincerely,
Charles J. Willington